This is Part Three of a serialized long-form essay. If you missed them, read Part One and Part Two. The Kocho massacre and James Foley's murder were followed by the murder of American freelance journalist Steven Sotloff. Then the nightmare played out on repeat, with the killing of British aid workers David Haines, and Alan Henning, and finally, and most excruciatingly for me, Pete. When they were taken captive, I was managing several voluntary projects that aimed to protect journalists working in conflict zones. As a result, I spent a lot of time working with others to try to save each of the boys. When they were killed, all I could see was that we'd failed to bring them home. I took it hard. I'd close my eyes, and all I'd see was blood. I'd sit in the bottom of the shower and scream, or sob until my head-ached. I struggled with grief and survivor's guilt, unable to see that I never had the power or the responsibility to save anyone in the first place.
Kocho's Living Ghosts - Part Three
Kocho's Living Ghosts - Part Three
Kocho's Living Ghosts - Part Three
This is Part Three of a serialized long-form essay. If you missed them, read Part One and Part Two. The Kocho massacre and James Foley's murder were followed by the murder of American freelance journalist Steven Sotloff. Then the nightmare played out on repeat, with the killing of British aid workers David Haines, and Alan Henning, and finally, and most excruciatingly for me, Pete. When they were taken captive, I was managing several voluntary projects that aimed to protect journalists working in conflict zones. As a result, I spent a lot of time working with others to try to save each of the boys. When they were killed, all I could see was that we'd failed to bring them home. I took it hard. I'd close my eyes, and all I'd see was blood. I'd sit in the bottom of the shower and scream, or sob until my head-ached. I struggled with grief and survivor's guilt, unable to see that I never had the power or the responsibility to save anyone in the first place.